Artist Circle

Artist Circle May 23rd

2010-05-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Over the next year and a half, I and eight other dancers will meet monthly to continue to search for and develop different concepts and dimensions that carry dance beyond movement and into the scrumptious land of texture, nuance, meaning, and provocation. We will present our favorite ideas in a stage show that will be produced as a DVD available to the public.

In Sunday's circle session, we began (after considerable costume ogling and dance topic preamble) by watching Tamalyn Dallal's Fan Dance video. She began production of this video in China, working with dancers who each choreographed 2 8 counts of a fan dance. In addition to the group choreography, there were two soloists. This was filmed and edited to include footage of the musicians in Zanzibar who created the music. This first video was used as an enormous backdrop for a show in Miami in which, again, dancers together created a fan dance choreography for two soloists and a group of belly dancers. This production was videotaped and edited to create a very touching, collaborative dance of women from around the world dancing together. We decided that we will do the same, and use this montage video as backdrop behind during a fan number in our show.

Manon opened the dancing portion of our circle by focusing our repertoire of hip movements on the contraction and expansion of the womb space. Movement was created through the process of squeezing all the air out of the womb space, then allowing it to fill and open, expanding in the direction of our intention. We then added to this the expansion and contraction of the upper sternum. This point of expansion and contraction is located just below the meeting of the collar bones. Tamalyn has referred to it as the flower spot as it opens and closes like a blossom. I've thought of it as the sunshine spot which lifts and falls away from the sun. Together, these subtle intentions seemed to make movements both smoother, juicier, and more evocative.

Khalida worked with arm movements: giving the arms and hands the intention of giving, taking and placing. We tried this with strong as well as fine movements, and I particularly enjoyed it as a means of creating a series of poses. She also discussed the grounding of beledi movements, contracting up through the core and engaging the upper abdominals to create more heaviness in the movements.

Leslie gave us a great workout challenge: we lay on our backs, feet on the floor, knees up and proceeded to practice all of the basic shapes and isolations from this position. I was grateful for this new means of sweating! We then stood and played with the same series of movements, but Leslie had us add the element of skateboarding. I found this visualization of adding the motion of skate or snowboarding to bellydance isolations actually works amazingly well. It naturally creates smooth whooshes and dips in movement our dance as we follow the music on our imaginary boards.

Imei had us go through the excercise of saying a sentence, then illustrating it with our motions. She draws on her splendid Bollywood background to illustrate, but it works well in belly dance also. This has been an especially fruitful excercise for me this month, put to use both in practice and performance.

Suzanna delighted us with a few moves and a great concept. The moves involved tapping the toe and then either throwing the whole torso forward dramatically, or following with a dramatic sway or roll up. The concept was of dancing with "no knees". She had us imagine we have no knees: only straight poles for legs. We practiced the basic movements. She allowed us to suddenly switch into a our regular legs with knees, then quickly called us back to no knees. A wonderful way of exploring level changes in the dance!

Noor worked with us on our arms, rolling in waves from right to left, leading with the wrist up and out. She directed us to push from the ball of the foot through the chest and up through the opposite arm and hand. We pushed space around with our body as well as with our arms. Arm movements gained depth by connecting not only to the torso, but also through to the feet.

Jewels asked about drum solo, and how to move when there are repeated, powerful sounds from the drum. The answers we found included dancing to the feeling of the emotion driven by the drums and allowing our bodies to only hit the first of the beats while continuing the intention and feeling throughout the riff.

I concluded the session by demonstrating how a taqasim modulates through a variety of maqams, and introduced ideas for noting these modulations which musicians so treasure with subtle changes in our dance: a new facial expression, a sudden glance in a new direction, a hiding or emerging of the eyes, an offering of a slightly new view such as the back of the shoulder for example, a change in feeling from loftiness and lightness to heaviness, or a change from expansion into contraction.

I look forward to continuing to work with and explore these ideas in my practice and performance, and can hardly wait for the next Artist Circle on June 22nd!

yours in music and dance,

Alimah

2010-05-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

Manon, Tamalyn Dallal and I met last night and brainstormed about an Artist Circle project on which we would like to collaborate. The project is in the early planning stages, but here is a brief outline of our ideas:

Artist Circle is a non-hierarchical meeting of dancers for the purpose of stretching our means of expression and movement in dance. During Artist Circle sessions we each bring a concept or dimension to explore along with a combination or exercise to demonstrate and practice that idea.

We would like to take our ideas to the stage now, and are planning on holding Artist Circle sessions monthly in order to create a show which not only entertains but also teaches, demonstrating our favorite concepts which we discover during the Artist Circle sessions. The show will likely be held in October or early November of 2011. It will be filmed and edited to produce a DVD which we will market and sell.

Each piece in the show will illustrate one of our favorite concepts from Artist Circle. Each dancer will be the focus of one piece, however we will also play supporting roles in different numbers to create contrast, and to expand into a more theatrical dimension of dance production. We will use our time during Artist Circle sessions to shape each number so as to best illustrate the concept with dance as well as staging and lighting. Artist Circle meetings will serve as rehearsals as well as a bellydance lab!

In between Artist Circle meetings, we will also make a mission of attending different genres of dance. We want to learn about other dance forms, and gain a good sense of what a theatrical stage show can deliver.

In addition to creating an outline for this project, we also held a little Artist Circle of our own. Here are some of the ideas we explored: lightness and heaviness in movement (this differs from sky and earth energy and focus); genuine facial expression and allowing the dance to move through us as opposed to controlling and planning each movement; yin and yang in bellydance – allowing for a balance between feminine and masculine energy in movement as well as balancing the flow of communication between audience and dancer (speaking and listening through dance.)

This will be an epic dance journey and I hope you will join us along the way! We will blog about our work throughout the process, and also hold monthly haflas on the 2nd Sunday of each month in which we try out these concepts and dimensions in performance! All are welcome to dance at these haflas: simply email me (Alimah): vlnhappy@hotmail.com.

For more information on Artist Circle, visit http://alimahdances.com/artist_circle.php

Looking Inside, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2009-02-07T14:20:00.001-08:00

As a mom, I obsess with developing my children's minds. Academics and their trajectory towards rewarding, intellectually stimulating careers is at the forefront of my parental concerns. Why?

In my own life, I remember being pushed to work hard in school, remember hearing the stories of how I tested ahead of my grade, got into "accelerated" programs, engaged my teachers. I studied hard to get into good schools, practiced hard to get into good orchestras, studied, practiced, auditioned, studied, practiced, auditioned so that... I could stop it all 3 years ago and be a mom to my children. This gift, being a mother, is by far the most profound of life's experiences so far. It makes me feel at once completely unique in my love for my children, and at the same time part of a universal truth in which I am joined by millions of women around the globe. Yet, I feel the whiplash of jumping from the work of the mind and the career, into the work of the heart and of parenting that doesn't give me the external satisfaction of career accomplishment.

I wonder if this desire to develop the mind beyond the heart and soul is survival instinct. As a human race, we have survived because of our ability to think and reason, correct? No fur to keep us warm, limbs that are not quick enough to escape predators.

I am tearing myself away from career and external accomplishments in order to nurture and give this time in my life to my children. But, in 15 years, when they are moving on and out of my house, I don't want to be left with nothing but a fragile shell of my sense of self.

Just before my second pregnancy, I got my first real dance job in a restaurant. I had wanted this feverishly for 2 years. I had won two competitions in the hope of hoisting myself into a professional level gig. I got fired when the owner found out I was pregnant, so I decided to take the year to practice my dancing. I missed the restaurant, but ultimately really needed that year of training before I could possibly be ready to entertain the general public over dinner.

Now I am in a similar situation. I do perform professionally as a dancer, a musician, and as a teacher, but every time my sense of career goals rises, I run into the constraints of motherhood. So, instead of identifying myself through the development of a career, I am going to develop myself spiritually and emotionally. What used to be a career path may be bending toward a long journey inward.

I don't know how to begin, or what that which I am looking for will look like. I want to know what I am made of. I want to know how I connect to the rest of humanity, now and through the ages. I want to know what is unique and what is universal inside me. I want to know my motivations. I want to experience God. Is there a Wild Woman, a Goddess, the Holy Spirit within me? How do I house or connect with the Divine? What is the Divine? What makes me strong? Do I have fears? Dance will be a tool, but it is not an answer in and of itself. After 15 years of opening myself, searching, waiting, and loving, I hope that I will emerge from this journey with a strong sense of myself, and an enormous love for all that is around me. Just as I see enormous potential in my children, I see enormous promise in myself. Emptying myself of expectations, and opening myself to experiences that come by surprise instead of by design is going to be my mode of exploration.

I realize that the mind and the heart are linked. All of the years spent studying and practicing have developed my ability to appreciate beauty and nuance, as well as analyze, dream, think, and ponder. I will use these old tools to start a new journey.

Photoshoot with Michael Baxter

2009-01-30T09:37:00.000-08:00

Michael Baxter and I jumped in the Artist Circle for a marathon 11 hour photo session last Sunday. He is an artist and a kindred spirit. He has poured money into state of the art equipment and countless hours into the practice of capturing the movement and subtleties of the dance on film. At our last session together, we captured movements that had an external and dramatic focus. This time, I wanted to seek out more internal expression, transcend movement and explore the nuances of emotion and soul. And, though I wanted to get beyond the drama of the flying sequins, skirts, and veils, I did bring 14 costumes by Bella, works of art in fabric and beading that mesmerize, inspire, and weave stories all their own.

Instead of the normal belly dance CD and list of poses/movement ideas I usually bring to a photoshoot, I brought a CD loaded with the music of Beethoven and Prokofiev. There were a couple of middle eastern favorites to warm up and flavor my dance, but soon we put on the 2nd movement from Beethoven's "Eroica" Symphony (his third symphony, and the single piece of music attributed to the beginning of the Romantic Era of western music.) Honestly, any emotion I have ever or will ever feel I am sure I can find described in the music of Beethoven. The Adagio Assai was today's emotional map, followed by excerpt's from Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev.

I also brought a list of concepts and intentions, instead of physical poses and moves. My list read like this:

1. ascending and descending angels
2. glances
3. chakras
4. surrender to the light
5. mystery
6. bareness
7. courage
8. beyond judgement

Here are a few of the ways we worked with this list:

Since the crash of Flight 1549 on the Hudson and the survival of all on board, stories of angels have been circulating, filling me with a sense of hope and the miraculous. The image of angels ascending and descending, connecting two worlds, continues to reappear in my mind. The contrary motion (use of simultaneous ascending and descending scales) of Beethoven's music paints a similar picture. I wanted to take this idea and try to capture the hope it inspires in my dancing.

Have you noticed how poignant a glance can be? We wanted to explore all angles from which a dancer can be seen, and also wanted to harness the power of connection that comes when eyes meet. I suggested that Michael walk and move around me, and I would walk and dance around him. Every once in a while our eyes would meet, and that would be our photo. I found it energized and captured spontaneous emotion, and revealed inner mysteries. I felt like the Mona Lisa. Of course, glancing away gives an interesting taste as well. These photos were especially satisfying.

I've written about the chakras as they relate to dance in an earlier post. We took the final 7 costumes to focus on the 7 chakras. I tried to allow the energy of the chakra to propel me to its natural manifestation and expression in dance.

Michael is a genius with lighting, and I always enjoy the fruits of his experiments. To work with the idea of "surrendering to the light" he came up with a few different lighting techniques. The first he called "Chiaroscuro", where he shot the photos at an angle across the white backdrop. The direction of the light created a sharply divided light and dark frame within the picture. I could step in and out of the light as I chose. There was also a beautiful effect of lighting with a huge soft box from behind with a fill light in front that was incredible. I could toss a veil overhead and it would absolutely glow, seemingly creating a light all it's own.

Bareness. We bare our souls and we bare our skin when we dance. Not only being comfortable but celebrating these two forms of vulnerability and bareness was a focus for part of the shoot. I would like to work further with this, as I realized in retrospect that this bareness also requires a comfort with stillness, and an abilitiy to be still, yet have energy and emotion flowing in and out of the body. Generally, now, I want to blend the emotional with the physical, and be able to have soulful, energetic stillness.

As for going beyond judgement, that is still a tough one for me. I am not sure how it manifests itself in my dancing, but I do know that seeing myself through my own eyes, and not through how I believe others perceive me, is one of the healthiest paradigm shifts I am making in my life.

Images from this photo session may be found on my website: http://alimahdances.com/photogallery.php

Judgment, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2009-01-22T09:47:00.001-08:00

I went to the opera by myself last night. Having held subscription tickets since moving to Seattle, this was approximately the 40th opera I've attended here. For years, opera goers were always treated to some unbidden exit music by a little man and his tuba. His pitch was obscure and meandering, but his tone followed us for blocks. I never stopped to listen, didn't put money in his case, didn't even notice that he always donned a creative and colorful hat for his performances. He and his music were not there last night, nor will they ever be again. He died in November. I cried and cried last night as I realized that over all of those years I had only noticed that his intonation needed work, but not that his perseverance was monumental, or that he was pouring his heart through his music out to each person in the crowd.

This is not the first time I've realized too late that I had missed the real beauty of an individual because I had been preoccupied with my judgment of them. I used to work closely with a Suzuki violin teacher who was literally world famous. She taught workshops all over the country, and had a flock of students that were devoted to her. We used to hold recitals together, choosing students each month to perform. Did I really spend each recital comparing the various merits of each student, stacking up the abilities of their teachers in comparison? Our teaching styles and methods were very different. I loved Yuko, but still there was that nagging, perpetual judgment that kept me from fully enjoying, appreciating, and embracing who she was.

What is this judgment? What is it doing to my life? How would I be different without it?

I had a dream a couple of months ago. At that time in my life, I was debating going to law school, or returning to my career in music. The dream took place in an old sun bleached mill where I was attending a music festival. A friend of mine (who is a lawyer in real life) came and visited me at the music camp, as well as my husband's Aunt Sara Jo. They both told me that I really should see the therapist who owned the mill, a certain "Dr. Clinton" (yes, Bill and Hillary's long lost son!). I met him downstairs in a very dark room. We sat by a fire, across a table from each other. He told me to drink a glass full of ashes, which was a truth serum. After I drank it, he asked me, "What do you really want?" I woke up.

I believe that the truth serum of ashes is a call from my inner self to burn up the judgment I place on myself, the constant seeing of myself through other people's eyes. Only when I get rid of that vision of myself as I imagine other people see me will I be able to really see myself from my own perspective, and without judgment.

My husband attended Ed McMichael's (the tubist's) memorial service at Qwest Field, along with more than 1500 other quiet fans. What I didn't see in this man did reach the hearts and minds of many others who were open enough to appreciate his gift. I don't despair though. Today is a new day, and I begin it with a new vision of how I want to be, and a rubber band around my wrist for me to snap whenever judgment tries to take my vision away from what is really important.

Chakras in Belly Dance, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2009-01-21T13:23:00.000-08:00

I was introduced to chakra dancing while taking a weeklong workshop with Tamalyn Dallal. She invited a dancer from Victoria named Taheya to lead us through the chakras, allowing the energy of each to guide and inform our movements. I was skeptical at first, but quickly became entranced. I glanced around the room and saw some of the most incredible dancing I’d ever encountered as everybody began moving in smoother more natural ways.

I am going to return to the idea of allowing the energy from the different charkas to guide my dance this week as I practice. Here are a few approaches I am taking:

TAQSIM: I've made a CD full of different instrumental taqsims. I dance to one taqsim for each chakra and am letting the energy from that chakra generate the movement. There is a great article on the chakras as they relate to belly dance on a dancer named Cinnamon Phoenix's website. I have taped this list of chakras (http://www.cinnamon-phoenix.com/chakras.html) onto my mirror. I read aloud about each chakra as I dance it, using the power of my voice to stay focused on the qualities of each chakra.

After I have danced through each chakra, and have danced through at least one piece assimilating them, I begin to think about how my dance relates to the music. Of course, we can dance in unison to the solo, letting the body imitate the rise and fall and rhythm of the musical line. But, it is also nice to create a counter-point to the music: a complimentary yet not imitative musical movement. I also experiment with contrary motion – moving in the opposite direction of the music. I try dancing just the phrasing: letting my movements follow the pacing and breath, question and answer of the musical solo, but not imitating the rhythm or melody. Finally, I decide on some moments in the music that I want to make sure I highlight. I clear the space around them by quieting or slowing my movements before and after, and allow the movements of the special spot to really pop out.

CHOREOGRAPHY: One of my big goals is to be able to really express myself through choreography. I have developed several choreographies (inspired by my costumes!) that I am working on. Here is how I am applying the chakra work to the choreography. I dance the choreography. Then I go back and dance it until I come to a place that I want to work on. I take that small moment or combination and work it in a different piece of music while focusing on how each of the charkas might propel the motion. After I’ve digested it for a while, I go back to the choreography and it always feels much freer and more natural after going through this process. I go onto the next snipit and work some more.

SHIMMIES – chakra shimmies! I am spending a piece of music on each chakra while I shimmy. I begin the shimmy and experiment with letting the chakra’s energy propel the motion. I try allowing images relating to the chakra, or emotions based on the chakra, or color, or shape of the chakra’s energy move me and explore different expressions and become comfortable with different shimmy movements. I play “warm or cold,” sensing whether the new movement and feeling is working for me or if I need to go in a different direction . I move in a new direction and see how it feels. I allow my body to move where it wants and not where I think it is supposed to go.

a new day, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2009-01-20T21:56:00.000-08:00

I am taking the day off of thinking about dance in order to savor the optimism that President Obama's inauguration has given me. For the first time since becoming a parent, I actually believe that we have a chance at giving our children as much or more opportunity as we have enjoyed in our lifetime. I am going to reflect on President Obama's call to rely on the old values of "honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism," as we enter into a "new era of responsibility." My biggest responsibility is to my children. I appreciate that he included the importance of nurturing a child in his list of ingredients for a new future.

Recent ideas I'm exploring, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2009-01-16T16:32:00.000-08:00

In a session with Suzanna , I recently explored grading the size of my movements into 5 levels: level 1 being small, and level 5 being HUGE. I then began grading them in terms of intensity as well: level 1 being very soft, ephemeral, floating, and level 5 being extremely intense, muscular, gooey, and with great tension. I found that by controlling these two components, I could better fit the movement to the music. It also helped me balance the architecture of the choreography. This gradation has also been helpful in my drum solos, where I find that I often need to give the percussive motions a level 5 intensity, but keep my arms at level 1 or 3 so that they have life and lift but are clearly just back-up to the main attraction.

Suzanna and I also played around with accents. Here is my newest experiment: make the accents tell a story, but let the rest of my dancing be simply musical.

Here is a favorite excercise that comes from Manon . We call it Snapshots. While dancing, inject small, quick unexpected changes of emotion. Play around with using the emotional spectrum that does not get excercised much in the dance: surprise, fear, jealously, pride, rapture, fullness, hunger. Because it is just a snapshot, we found that it comes across as a fleeting little texture - enough to intrigue but not frighten the audience.

Finally, some words of wisdom from a zen master: let your body move where it wants to go, not where you think it needs to go.

Artist Circle, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2009-01-16T16:10:00.000-08:00

I have been dancing for a while now, and I've noticed how the phases of my dance pursuit have evolved. I was a baby belly dancer, in love with everything and everyone for at least two years. Then, I started dancing in restaurants, continued to take many workshops and lessons, traveled, but somehow lost sight of the belly dance community surrounding me. About a year and a half ago, I started dancing together with a dance acquaintance: the beautiful Manon, who I had always admired and enjoyed, but had never really worked with. We began to get together to simply dance, practice, and search for means of heightening our artistic experience and expression through dance. We were looking for the Juice, in other words. Through this search we got to know each other's dancing more intimately, and this lead to really learning more about who each other was as a person, and this has in turn blossomed into a really fantastic friendship.

At the beginning of January, a woman who was another belly dance acquaintance called me and asked if I would consider getting together and just brainstorming about dance. Why not? So she came over, and we did just that: my turn, your turn, what inspires your movement? What do you think about when dancing? When practicing? What do you yearn for? Though we come from different dance backgrounds and styles, it was a wonderful collaboration, and I felt again that wonderful spark of friendship and community that comes out of women dancing for women.

I have done this several times now- I think of it as getting in the Artist's Circle (and that is Manon's beautiful term). It is a time to leave the stagename persona behind, and just communicate and explore together. It is not a "lesson", no exchanging of money for ideas. We learn together. There is rarely an itinerary for the trip, and there is always the possibility that the session will fizzle and that will be that. But, so far, it has yielded nothing but friendship and epiphanies.

Below are some of the ideas that have come out of these fruitful sessions. I invite you to try them out, and, if you like, email me ideas that have come out of your own Artist Circle endeavors. I will post them, along with a link to your website. It would be wonderful to extend the Artist Circle to all dancers who are moved to explore and share the beauty and artistry of Middle Eastern Dance.

Emails may be sent to: vlnhappy@hotmail.com. Enjoy!

Costume distraction, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2007-08-24T12:34:00.000-07:00

August 24, 2007

Whoops. I have bought 21 costumes in the last year and a half, and have sold about 15. That means more than a financial deficit. It means I've been hiding behind a costume obsession to keep from facing the real work I need to be doing with my dance. I have told myself that dancing is just a hobby, just an antedote to some of the trials of young motherhood. I always mention in my bios that I'm *really* a professional violinist. My parents smile gratefully whenever I mention my musical endeavors. However, if I listen to the universe, god, and the natural flow of events in my life, something is telling me to dance, and dance seriously.

What does it mean to dance seriously? I don't even want to guess, but for now I am going to search for "truth in movement". I am going to try and figure out what every little nuance means in the music that I love, and how I can best express it in dance. I'll practice, and see where this journey takes me.

The Dancer Leading the Musician, by Tracy Helming, www.alimahdances.com

2007-07-31T23:21:00.000-07:00

July 23, 2007

I have always believed that if you learn to do one thing well, you will be able to do well whatever your heart desires. I spent 25 years pursuing the art of violin performance, and towards the end of that time felt like I was finally beginning to really communicate and experience what I wanted to with my instrument. After my first child, Savannah, was born, I turned to bellydance to reacquaint myself with adventure, femininity, and playfully irreverent sensuality. I knew immediately that this dance form was somehow a link to my very core, and was something that I could not tolerate being a novice at for long. I began taking lessons, performing, competing, and, yes, buying costumes, before I had any inkling of the journey on which this pursuit would lead me. During much of this, I felt it was my ability to play the violin that gave me insight into effectively practicing and improving my dance technique. Ultimately, however, my struggles to master belly dance have profoundly changed my approach to violin playing.

I used to curse bellydance because it didn’t seem to follow a standardized pedagogical structure. There was no core curriculum that would allow me to gauge my progress against that of other students or against a set of criteria that had evolved over decades and centuries, as in the instrumental world. Individual bellydance teachers seemed to teach a variety of steps, each movement having a variety of names, with no universal consensus on foundational technique. A camel to one teacher could be an undulation to another, and a reverse undulation to yet another. A standard undulation was taught as a vertical movement by some, a horizontal movement by others, generated through breathing by some, through stomach rolls by others, and from a rocking of the feet by yet somebody else. Though it was maddening to try and muck my way through this haze of lessons, workshops, and videos, out of this anarchy came a startlingly new and breathtakingly beautiful way of learning: learning through desire. Not a desire to do something the correct way, but a desire to do something the way my eyes and soul wanted to see it.

While studying violin at the Yale School of Music, I had a substitute teacher for a few lessons while my regular teacher, Sidney Harth, was conducting an orchestra in South Africa. I remember the end of one lesson he gave me very, very clearly. As I was packing up my violin he told me how his violin friends and he used to gather around a record player and listen to recordings of Fritz Kreisler, listen and analyze his tone, his vibrato. He showed me how they would try and teach each other to reproduce a sound like his; he demonstrated by rocking the pad of his finger on the glass of the coffee table in the studio. There was some fire this teacher was trying to light in me by telling me this, but at the time I was too concerned with playing the notes in the Carmen Fantasy, getting the fingerings, the bowings, to understand that he was trying to get me to teach myself through my own search for a sound that was unique to me. I was too caught up in the mental status I gave myself by being able to play a certain piece to really get caught up in the burning desire to hear a bright edge to my spiccato, or the juicy waves of my vibrato. Had I yearned for those things, I would have noticed their absence in my playing and worked towards the sound that my ear begged for. In the end, the piece would have played itself.

My best tools in the pursuit of belly dance have been a live stage and a video camera. I have had fantastic teachers, have taken countless hours of workshops, and have enough notes to paper the White House if I could get past the secret service. Watching others perform, watching myself perform, and trying to figure out what essential nuances, textures, gestures, and architecture make my favorite dancers so hot has been the source of guidance I have used as I try to find my essential voice in this dance. I am motivated by a desire to express ideas, connect with an audience, and describe with my own movements what I long to watch when others perform. There is always an endless road of development ahead of me.

Recently I decided to take a violin audition, and began digging out my old orchestral excerpts. At first I called a violinist in the area in order to take some lessons, get his advice and impressions, but haven’t yet set up a lesson time. Instead, I am listening to my sound with the full force of my heart and my opinions. I am finding that the most important step is stopping when a note does not ring to the sound I have in mind. Revelation comes from stopping when something isn’t working, and pursuing what I want from my violin until my hands and violin give me what I am asking for. Playing the excerpt well enough to win the audition is not the goal. My goal is to work at it until I can play it to the standard of my imagination.